Uphill Start

I wonder when you will leave me.
I wonder what your excuse will be.
I wonder if I should trust you at all,
Give you the opportunity to leave me

Broken,

I wonder what your intentions are
(Looking for)
I wonder if you know who you are
(Looking for)
I wonder if you wonder about me
(Wishing to know)
(More about you)

/michal

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The Beginning is Aware of the End

Please tell me you’ll make a dent.
I am tired of relationships that end
without pain, without an ending. Fizzle
due to a lack of heat to begin with. Fizzle
into an ending that was obvious from the start.

I want a relationship that I know will hurt if it ends,
that will leave me broken. Only then will I know
that I have felt deeply. Only then will I know
that it was worth it. I want to be whole
with someone that might break me,
not because I like to be broken
but because I like to be whole.

And I know I can be whole again
after a breaking, for I have done it already,
and I can do it again.

Be that potential for hurt with me.
Be that potential for love.

/michal

Paralysis

The summer both Mama and our dog
Had a herniated disk in their lower backs
Both cried in pain and in sympathy.

We talked about death and quality of life
Which didn’t feel so different
There on our kitchen floor.

I sat with my coffee and a book
In the early morning
The dog already in pain
(Not early enough)
My hand resting on his panting head
Not comforting enough.

It is not easy to look into a dog’s eyes
As he is waiting to end.

He aged within three days
Becoming paralyzed.
The cat stopped by to smell his legs
And for a second I thought they might work again.
We read him stories to let him imagine that they would.

I brought a mattress into the living room
To sleep beside the dog
With our heads resting close
Each breathing in our own animal way.

/michal