Shifting Clouds

Like carrying a preventative umbrella on a sunny day
I tell you my flaws before you kiss me
Because you never know
If they’ll want to know you
(who’s they?
are they flaws?
are they flawed?)

/michal

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Excess

It is not a question of
Whether you were enough
Or not,
Too much,
Or not.

You exceed quantities, go beyond
Into questions of
Whether you were fitting,
My self with yours
Or not,
Fits too well,
Or not.

These are questions of relation
Which means there are two
Trying to be one,
Or not.

So question not your worth
For it exceeds my words
And consumes me
To propel me forward,
Or not.

/michal

Packets of Time: Particle Theory of Love

I am waiting for enough moments
to pass until
I am no longer fighting urges
to call him.

I go through the motions of my day,
slowly unfreezing,
hurriedly wondering,
at what point is it acceptable for me
to be light again?

Some days have lighter moments
which cloud over with guilt:
How dare I be okay?
What about him?
Is he okay?

I am waiting for enough moments
to combine until
I start stitching myself back up,
through packets of time.

/michal

Part 3 of 3: Learning to Heal

Of course I am spinning around
still
in my own little circle, but why
can’t I stop?

I can’t see
the world around me.
It does not keep up with my speed
Like my hands
Which I see clearly (spinning with me).
But the world, a blur.

Let me slow down
And see my reflection
And breathe in sync with her lungs.

I had a small doll once
(With silvery blue hair)
And her hands were sewn together
To make a loop for her knees
To tuck into.
She would sit there and hug herself
And that is all she did.

/michal